I Remember
by StevexBuckyx
Summary: Steve and Bucky work through tough times. Thorbruce mentioned. Major fluff. Some Drabble. steve/bucky stucky bucky/steve
1. First Kiss

"You can't leave!' Bucky protested, "we just got our lives back together again and now you go on another mission?"

"I'm sorry, I can't let Nat and Sam handle everything," Steve replied, "I promise I'll call you everyday."

The blonde walked forwards and pulled Bucky into a close embrace. Bucky shuddered as he felt Steve's warmth. The serum had increased Steve's body heat kinda making him like a moving heater, but as for Bucky, the excessive testing made him cold to touch. The drastic body temperature difference made him feel uneasy for a few seconds, but it eventually calmed down.

"Is this what you felt like when I left for England?' the ex-assassin asked.

"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't," Steve pulled away.

Bucky had these feelings for Steve for a while just eating away at him. He had been trying to build up the courage to tell him. Was now the perfect moment or the wrong time? If Steve returned those feelings it would make it harder on him to leave, but if he didn't, it would give Bucky the right amount of time to move out. He decided to wait until Steve came back.

"Let me drive you to the Avengers HQ," Bucky offered.

"Will it make you feel better?" Steve smiled.

"We'll have to find out."

The next morning Steve sat and watched Bucky lay peacefully, well the most peaceful he'll ever look. Steve had longed to hold him close and call him his again. He didn't want to make it hard on Bucky by reminding him of their past and just leaving. He'd much rather be bestfriends then hurt him, god he loved him so much. After a few minutes Bucky awoke to find Steve gazing lovingly.

"Enjoying the view, Rogers?" Bucky smirked.

"Shut it, I was just decided whether to let you sleep for longer or not"

"Sure you were," he winked.

They ate breakfast, playing their favourite songs off an old record player. One song started playing that triggered memories Bucky had forgotten, well so he thought. Bucky put down his toast and look at Steve.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"This song," he spoke, "I remember."

Steve's whole demeanor changed.

"What do you remember?"

"Only this, I taught you how to dance."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah," Bucky hesitated, " we kissed, how could you keep that from me?"

Steve put down his cup of coffee, he reached his arm out and held his hand. "I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want you to feel like you had to be with me because of our past."

Bucky thought for a bit. Was now the right time to tell Steve how he felt? No, he'll wait. He was angry at Steve for keeping this from him, but understood the reason why.

"So it wasn't just a one time thing?"

"N-no, after my mother died and we moved in together-"

"We lived together?"

"Yes, anyway, you sat me down one night and told me your feelings for me. We didn't get together straight away, we were scared that someone would find out. We both tried to repress our feelings by going out and finding dates, but it didn't feel the same. You decided to teach me how to dance and then we kind started dating after that."

"I can't believe I forgot all of this Steve, I'm sorry."

"I didn't want to tell you because I won't be back for a while."

"Let me take you to the HQ please, you said I could last night, let me have this."

"Well go get changed then, I'll be in the car," Steve smiled and got up.

"Well we're here," Steve pointed out.

They walked into the HQ together.

"I thought you weren't gonna show," Sam said, "well we're going now."

"Buck, I'll call you I promise."

"Steve you can't bring your phone, it'll make them be able to track us."

"It's ok," Bucky said, "Just be safe."

Sam and Nat walked onto the ship, Steve walking quite a bit behind them

Bucky had no idea what had gotten into him, but he needed to feel Steve's lips against his.

"Steve wait!" he called out running behind the captain.

Steve turned to be greeted with a kiss. It was soft and slow. It felt so familiar, every time they had ever kissed rushed through Bucky's head like a badly edited short film.

When they pulled away they still held eachother close.

"I love you," Bucky spoke under his breath only so Steve could hear.

"I love you too," Steve replied.

Sam made a puking sound and yelled, "hurry up Rogers or this ship is gonna leave without you."

Steve turned to see Nat smiling and Sam looking unimpressed. Bucky watched as Steve walked onto the ship.

He remembered.

Hey guys! Don't forget to check out my instragram account 'lokihiddlestan' for more Stucky content. :)


	2. Steve leaves

Steve sat on the ship as it took off. He thought about Bucky. All he had to do for him to remember was to play that song? Heck, if he knew that he would've done it sooner.

"Steve," Nat spoke.

"Yeah?"

"How did you get him to remember?"

Steve hadn't said anything about Bucky remembering, how did Nat know?

"Before I answer that, how did you know he remembered? He could of just fell for me again," Steve winked jokingly.

"He told me," Nat answered, "before you guys came Bucky called me crying, he was talking about how he had remembered certain things from your guys past, I think he was overwhelmed. He really loves you Rogers."

He sat there quietly trying to process what Nat had said. It's hard knowing it hurts him remembering important memories, he didn't deserve his memories stolen. Bucky really needs Steve and he just left? Guilt flooded his body.

"We were eating breakfast while listening to songs he used to like. I started playing 'they say it's wonderful.' He taught me how to dance to it before everything," Steve spoke getting emotional, "it reminded him of our-"

"First kiss," Nat finished.

"Yeah, he was angry i hadn't told him. It's just whenever he remembers something about be before the serum, it kinda messes him up. I'm not sure why, he just goes mute for a day or so."

Nat sat next to Steve and comforted him."It's ok."

Sam walked in sheepishly.

"Hey," he started, "I could overhear your guys chat. Just know I'm here for you Steve, Bucky too. I think he hates me though."

Steve smiled, "thanks Sam.'

"Well Steve, you better be ok to fight, Sam and I won't be strong enough by ourselves."

"I'll be fine."


	3. Bucky Rememebers

Bucky sat at home. He was a little shaken from remembering so much in an hour period. One memory seemed to be more powerful in his mind than the others.

Steve's stood next to him at a science expo. One second he was there, next he was gone. Bucky found him around an area where you were able to enlist in the army.

The whole memory was a bit hazy, but he remembered fractions.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back," he had said to the small blonde.

"How can I?" Steve replied smugly, "you're taking all the stupid with you."

"You're a punk," Bucky spoke walking towards him and hugging him tight.

"Jerk."

That's where the memory ended. Another one stood out to Bucky like a sore thumb.

It had obviously been after Steve had saved him from Zola the first time. Steve had come to visit him in the hospital area. While no one was looking, Steve had pecked him on the forehead. He remembered thinking that it had felt so foreign. Now Steve wasn't small and didn't need protecting anymore. He could hold his own, heck probably stronger than himself.

"I love you Stevie," he had muttered to the now tall man.

"I love you too jerk."

—

Bucky had sat for a while now, just thinking about their past. Where they really together during the 40s? All the homophobia was crazy and they still risked it? He just wanted his Stevie back.

"I want you to come home," Bucky whispered to himself, "I need you."

—

Should I continue this story?


	4. Steve returns

Bucky sat at home watching Hell's Kitchen while drinking coffee. It was been about 3 and ½ months since Steve left on his mission. Suddenly, his phone started buzzing. He put down his coffee and paused the TV. It was Fury.

"Hey Fury, what's up?"

"Steve, Sam and Nat are coming back today. If you want, you can come around here and wait with Tony until they get back."

"Thanks, I'll be there in a bit."

—

Bucky buzzed his way into the HQ. He walked into the main area where the ship had left.

"Hey Barnes," Tony spoke, "waiting for Steve?"

"Yeah," he replied, "are you waiting for Nat or Sam?"

"Nah, I'm waiting for Pep. She was meant to meet me here so we could see the three musketeers when they got back."

"Nice."

Almost on cue, Bucky noticed the ship in the sky. It slowly lowered itself where it had been a few months ago.

The second the doors opening, Steve, Nat and Sam stumbled out. They were all bruised and obviously tired. Steve walked out faster then the rest when he spotted Bucky. The brunette ran towards him. Steve threw his arms around Bucky.

"I missed you," Steve said softly.

"I missed you too."

After a minute or so Steve pulled back, still holding Bucky. He looks into his eyes and smiled. He could finally call the soldier his again. In one swift moment, the blonde lifted his hands and cupped Bucky's face. He pulled him into a soft kiss.

"When did that happen?" Tony asked Nat while smirking.

"Literally just as we left. I'll tell you everything later," Nat smiled.

"Alright break it up you two," Sam started, "Barnes, you should take Steve home. Let him shower, maybe get him some ice."

"Right," the brunette said as Steve and him backed away from each other.

—

The drive home was filled with Steve telling him stories of the mission. Bucky smiled as he drove. He hasn't seen the blonde this happy since, ever really.

They made him home and Bucky pulled up into the garage.

When they made it inside Steve kissed Bucky and then headed straight for the shower.

"Choose a good movie for us Buck," he has said while closing the bathroom door.

When Steve came out of the shower he wore nothing, but a towel dangerously low on his hips. Bucky was in the kitchen getting out some microwave popcorn.

He turned around to see Steve shirtless. Some new cuts on his chest, but damn did he look good.

Bucky walked out of the kitchen to meet Steve. He grabbed his bare his and pulled him into a kiss. It was fiery. Passionate. Long overdue. Steve walked him over to the couch and pushed Bucky back. Steve was on top of him. The microwave beeped and ruined the entire mood.

"I'll get that," Bucky muttered angrily.

Steve smiled and stood up off of the soldier. He walked into the bedroom and put on some black sweats and a white tank top.

—

They sat cuddled up on the couch. Steve laid resting his head on Bucky's shoulder. The soldier had his arms wrapped around him resting his head on the back of the couch. A bowl of untouch popcorn sat on the coffee table. Both of them were too comfortable to move.

"Stevie," Bucky said quietly.

Steve for a lump in his throat. He had remembered.

"Yeah Buck," he choked.

"I remembered more while you were gone."

Steve paused the movie.

"Yeah, certain moments or just things in general?"

"Moments. I remembered when you saved me on Zola and we were in the hospital wing. Just little things."

Steve smiled, "you have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear those words."

"You could've just told me," he shrugged.

"I know. It's just when you remember things that involve me, you go quiet and don't talk for a while."

Bucky didn't answer. He kissed the top of Steve's head. "I love you."

"I love you too Buck."

—

Hey guys! Just want to tell you that there won't be any smut in my fics. Only Drabble :)


	5. Brooklyn

It has been almost 3 months since Steve had gotten back from his mission. He had be helping Bucky remember more. The blonde woke up early and saw his lover still fast asleep. They were both sweating from their experiences from the night before.

"Babe, wake up," Steve whispered loudly before pecking him on the forehead.

"What do you want punk," Bucky replied groggily, "it's not even 7:30 yet."

"Get up by 8. I have a surprise."

"Oh god."

Steve laughed and walked out the bedroom. He went into the kitchen started making some coffee. About 10 minute later, a dead looking Bucky dragged himself out of the bedroom.

"Coffee."

—

"Get in the car Buck, we're going somewhere."

"Why do I not trust you?"

"Just get in the damn car."

—

They drove for about an hour. They had stopped for doughnuts and more coffee. While Steve was driving he placed his hand on Buckys thigh. He thought it was cute. He grabbed Steve's hand and it rested in his leg.

—

"We're here!" Steve said excitedly.

"This isn't."

"It is, home sweet home."

"Brooklyn. This is our old apartment."

They stood in front of small rickety building with multiple doors. Bucky clambered out the car staring.

"I remember. You moved in the day of you moms funeral. You tried to convince me you could live by yourself, but I refused to let you."

A tear rolled down Steve's cheek. Bucky turned and saw him tearing up.

"Stevie it's ok-"

"It's just, you remember. Do you know how damn happy that makes me? I can't believe it."

"Does anyone still live here?"

"Looks pretty rundown. Let's see."

Steve walked up the stairs and knocked on their old apartment door. An elderly man opened the door.

"Sorry to disturb you sir, it's just this is our old apartment and we were wondering if anyone still lived here."

"It's ok," he replied, "you're Bucky Barnes," he said pointing to the man standing behind Steve.

"Y-yeah, that's me."

"My daughter looks up to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, SARAH! Come to the door!"

A middle aged women appeared behinds the elderly man. She wore a grey hoodie and had her hands in her pocket.

"Bucky Barnes?"

Steve turned and smiled to him and stepped aside. Bucky walked forwards.

"Yeah that's me."

The woman pulled her hand out her pocket to reveal a glove. She took the glove and off and underneath was a metal hand. She pushed her sleeve up. She had a fake limb.

"I lost it cancer. I thought my life was over. I joined the army and I thank you for making me believe I could be more than just a cripple."

The soldier smiled. "That's beautiful. You shouldn't look up to me though, I've done some pretty bad things."

"I don't care, you're my hero."

Steve lightly punched Bucky's shoulder. He gave Bucky that 'I'm proud' look.

"Would you guys like to come in for tea?"

"Wish we could," Bucky answered, "we're wanted at headquarters. You know I used to live here right?"

"Wait really? Anyway, before you leave can I get a photo?"

"Sure."

The woman ran out and hugged Bucky and whispered, "thank you."

Steve took a photo on the woman's phone and his. The woman ran back inside.

"Thank you guys so much. By the way, has anyone ever told you that you two would make a cute couple?"

The pair smiled and entwined fingers.

"Shhh," Steve winked.

The woman looked as if she was going to die.

"Go back to your room before you have an heart attack Sarah," the elderly man ordered.

Sarah walked off like a giddy school girl.

"Thank you guys so much," the elderly man said, "bye."

—

Ok this was really cute. Ngl :)

Btw I saw captain marvel today. It's really good, I 11/10 recommend it.


	6. Sweet Surprise

When they got back in the car Steve looked over to the brunette.

"We're not wanted there, why'd you end it short?"

"I don't know, I just panicked. What if I did something and hurt her? I-"

"Shhhh," Steve cut him off, "it's ok."

Steve leant across and hugged him. After a few moments he pulled away.

"Anyway, we have another stop for today."

"Oh god."

—

"Stevie, where are we?" Bucky asked as he climbed out the car. They stood in front of a large building.

"Well, this is where you took me on our first date," Steve smiled, "of course, only we knew it was a date and only our neighbour knew we were together."

"But what is this place exactly?"

"Follow me."

The blonde grabbed the soldiers hand. He started to walk forwards, but Bucky didn't move.

"Are you sure this was our first date?" He asked looking at the ground. His hair hung loosely in front of his face.

"Yeah I am, babe, are you ok?"

"Can we go back into the car?"

"Why-"

"Steve."

"Ok."

Bucky walked fast to the car and climbed into the passenger seat. The moment Steve climbed into the car he burst into tears.

"Bucky what's wrong?"

"The horrors, they never stop."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was sent here, as the winter soldier. Do you know about a little girl who was attacked here by an unknown person? It was in the paper."

"James. Look at me. What are you talking about?"

"It was me. I-I did horrible things Steve. It never affected us until now. I'm so sorry for ruining today, I just can't be here."

"It's fine babe, let's go somewhere else," Steve said as he grabbed his lovers hand, "we have another stop anyway."

—

They drove for a while and stopped at Brooklyn bridge.

"Do you remember this place Buck?" Steve asked holding his hand. They walked waving the car behind and admired the bridge.

"I do."

Steve gripped Buckys hand tighter and they walked closer.

"We got caught kissing," Bucky laughed, "thank god we knew the person or they woulda killed us. Quite funny actually."

"Yeah, was quite funny. I don't even remember why we decided to risk it to be honest. Guess we were feeling _AdVeNtUrOuS."_

"You're a punk," Bucky smiled.

"Jerk."

Steve let go of the soldiers hand. He stood in front of him and smiled. He reached for something in his pocket and knelt down. He pulled out a small box and opened it to reveal a simple wedding band.

"James Buchanan Barnes, we've always said we're with eachother until the end of the line and I want to make it official. Will you marry me?"

Bucky threw his arms around the captain.

"Of course I will."

Steve stood up and pulled away from their embrace. He took the band out of the box and placed it on Buckys finger. A perfect fit.

Bucky pulled the blonde into a soft kiss. It seemed to last an eternity, like time had stopped just for them.

The brunette pulled away.

"I love you, Stevie."

"I love you too, Buck."

—-

:))))) I promise this fic will have a happy ending.


	7. The News

"Guessing you guys are here because if Steve too?" Nat asked looking around the big living room. Across from her sat Tony, Rhodey, Sam, Bruce, Thor (how had they managed to get Thor? No one ever knew where he was), Shuri, Peter, T'Challa and Maria.

"Yeah," Bruce answered, "Thor and I were just tryna eat some pancakes an-"

Thor put his arm around Bruce, "it's fine man, just tell them," he smiled.

"Oh yeah um, Thor and I are kinds together."

"That's awesome man!" Tony replied, "not gonna lie, always thought you two would be cute."

Their celebrating was cut short as Steve and Bucky walked in the room. Bucky has both hands in his pockets and so did Steve.

"Wow you guys actually came," Bucky spoke surprised.

"Yeah why wouldn't we?" Shuri answered, "haven't seen you in ages, how's it going?"

"Good," Bucky answered, "anyway Steve, do you wanna do the honours?"

"Fine," Steve took a deep breath and pulled his left hand out his pocket to reveal an engagement ring. Bucky did the same, but with his right (Bucky didn't feel comfortable putting the ring on his metal hand).

Nat stood up. "No fucking way!"

"Yes fucking way!" Bucky replied grinning like a child.

Shuri got up and ran straight towards the soldier. She hugged him tight.

"You need to tell me EVERYTHING!"

Next it was Tony. He stood up and walked over to Steve.

"Excuse me, you did this and didn't tell me?" Tony asked in a sarcastic tone.

Sam got up and ran towards the pair. "Fuck yes! I always knew you guys were endgame! Well not always, since that mission, but that's fine."

Everyone took turns hugging the pair. Last was Thor and Bruce.

"Congratulations you guys, how about we celebrate with some Asgardian beer!" Thor said cheerfully.

"I thought it was for mortal men?" Steve replied.

"But you two aren't just normal men are you now?"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Bucky laughed.

"No I mean, you both can't get drunk! It shouldn't affect you guys!"

Bruise quickly butted in, "Thor you need to get home, I think your a bit too excited."

Thor glared and Bruce, but agreed.

The pair walked out holding hands.

"Did we miss something?" Steve asked.

—

Later that night the two super soldiers sat at home.

"Hey babe," Steve asked from the kitchen, "do you want some coffee?"

"Nah, come look at what I found," Bucky replied from the living room.

Steve entered to see a box.

"Uhhh Buck, what's in there?"

Bucky opened the box to reveal old vintage photos. Them as kids. Them from the war.

Bucky laughed, "I forgot was midget you were before the serum."

Steve at down and pulled out a small photo in the corner of the box. It was older than the rest.

Steve looked at it. Not speaking a word. A sudden feeling of sadness flooded his body.

"Stevie, you ok?"

"Look."

It was a picture of them with Steve's mother. She sat on the couch smiling with either one on their lap.

"You were like another son to her Buck," Steve spoke, "you used to tell her we were gonna get married someday. She thought it was due because you were what, four? Guess she'd be proud."

Bucky took the photo out of the blondes hands. He put it next to him on the couch. He turned to face Steve.

"Do you want to know why I freaked out the other day?"

"You told me didn't you?"

"Yeah, but it didn't make sense."

"Are you sure? You don't have to babe."

"It's fine a want to."

He took a deep breath and rolled up his sleeve that cover his metal arm. He pointed to a scratch.

"This girl, named Abby was a target for hydra. They never said why. She was only 6. She was with her family at a museum. They were just enjoying there day out when, when I…" he trailed off and looked down.

"You can stop if you want."

"I walked right up to them. I just picked up their little girl and walked off. Hydra wanted her alive. She kicked and punched, but I didn't put her down. She was wearing a bracelet. It scratched my arm. I took her to the closest Hydra base. They did to her what they did to me. They attached her to this machine and started to brainwash her. She was only 6 and died on the spot. Steve I'm a monster. I ruined their family, it's my fault she's dead."

Steve grabbed his metal hand. The coldness surprised him.

"No Buck, it's my fault. If I went down and found him after you fell, none of this would of happened. We would still be living in the 40s, celebrated the end of the war and lived out a normal life together. It's my fault I didn't go after you."

They pulled each other in close. Several 'I love yous' where exchanged. Before Bucky kissed Steve on the forehead. Before they knew it they laid on the couch in each others arms, softly drifting off to sleep.

—

Thank you guys for reading, it means a lot.


	8. You're Ready Barnes

"Hey Steve," Bucky said peering into the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"C'mere"

"Ok?"

Steve walked out the kitchen and was taken by surprise and Bucky pushed him against the wall. Steve instantly realised what was happening and pushed his lips hard against his fiancés. They made out for a bit before Steve uttered something, that made Bucky smile.

"I want you to slam me against every wall in this house."

The two super soldiers went at each other like wild dogs. They took turns pulling off each others clothing accidentally ripping their shirts. Wasn't long before they were both in their boxers. Bucky started kissing down his neck leaving hot marks. He made his way all the way down to his boxers. He looked up to seen Steve biting his lip in pleasure.

Bucky started tugging at his boxers with his teeth. He was just about to pull them down when Nat came bursting in the door. Bucky stood up. Him and Steve both went a deep shade of red. Her eyes moved to the ripped shirts on the floor.

"Nice," Nat winked to Bucky.

"And you couldn't knock?" Steve asked shooting death stares at her.

"Well, what's the fun in that?"

"Why are you here? Does Steve have to leave again?" Bucky asked.

"Nah I'm actually here for you Barnes. Fury wants to see you, Steve you can come too if you want."

"We'll meet you out in the car Nat."

"Ok."

When Nat walked out they both burst into laughter, what else were they supposed to do? They both walked into the bedroom to get a new shirt, put on some jeans and left their home hand in hand.

—

They arrived at the HQ to see Fury, Tony and Bruce. Tony and Bruce were hard at work on something exchanging snotty remarks.

Nat ran straight over to the lab and said something along the lines of, "you're not gonna believe what I saw!"

Bucky and Steve both rolled their eyes.

"Rogers, go join them in the lab, I need to speak to Barnes alone," Fury spoke.

"Yes sir," Steve said and walked over as Tony smirked at him.

"Barnes I think you're ready to fight again."

"What?"

"You heard me, you've been training, working with Shuri to get that bogus out of your head, I think you're ready."

"I would love to be back in the field, but are you sure?"

"100% certain."

—

Sorry this part is short x


	9. Bad Nights

_The hydra agent punched Bucky square in the face. _

"_Cut out this Steve bullshit!" He yelled, "or do we need to wipe to again soldier?"_

"_Please, just left me go!"_

_Another punch was thrown at him an-_

Bucky sat up straight. He was wearing profusely. He looked beside him to still see his fiancé sleeping peacefully. Thank god. Bucky pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head down. Warm tears creaked their way through his closed eyelids. He guesses he must of been crying a bit louder then he thought when heard Steve whisper.

"Bucky? Lay back down ok."

"No."

"Cmon, you need sleep."

"No."

"Jesus Christ, for once in your damn life stop being so stubborn."

"No."

Steve put his hand in Buckys shoulder. It just of startled him because the metal arm instantly reached across and grabbed his wrist. He held it tight.

"Buck, let go!"

The grip eased as the metal arm slowly fell.

"Steve I'm sorry I-"

"What happened?"

Bucky stood up and darted out of their bedroom.

"Babe come back!"

"I'll be back soon Stevie, I just need to go for a walk."

"Wait."

Bucky turned to see Steve had followed him out of bed. He pulled him into a soft kiss.

"Be safe, don't do anything stupid Buck."

"I'm sorry for all of this," Bucky replies looking into Steve's eyes, "you deserve someone who's better then me. Someone who is so broken. Hydra will always be a part of me no matter what Shuri does."

"Buck, what did Fury talk to you about?"

"He wants me back in the field. I can't do it Stevie, I can't."

"Come."

Steve grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the bedroom. They got got on the bed.

"You're having nightmares again, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry Steve I-"

"Stop apologising, you've done nothing wrong. Now is my fiancé gonna come lay with me or not?"

Bucky laid down in Steve's arms. The warmth shocked him again, but he adjusted. It wasn't long before he had fallen asleep again. The captain felt his warm breaths against his chest. He smiled.

His soon-to-be husband could make no sense at some times, but he loves him. It still makes Steve sad he's broken and he barely remembers anything, but he's still Bucky. Maybe not the same from the 40s, but still Bucky.


	10. Hydra

"Hey babe," Steve said walking into the living room, "you know how our wedding is in 2..."

Steve's sentence trailed off as he saw Bucky was nowhere in sight.

"Bucky?! BUCKY!?" He ran outside. Bucky was still nowhere to be seen.

"No no no no no no no no," Steve spoke to himself, "not again."

Steve called Nat, Sam and Tony frantically asking if they'd seen him. No success. He didn't know what to do. He walked into the living room and put his face in his hands. Warm tears quickly covered his fingers.

"Pull yourself together Steve," he said, "he's probably just at the gym."

Steve waited all night. He never came home. He thought he might as well get some sleep. He slowly drifted off.

—

The next morning he awoke to Bucky cuddled up to him. His metal arm felt cool on his skin. Bucky looked like he was in pain. His face was scrunched and his hair a mess. He looked as if he had been crying.

Steve kissed his forehead which woke the soldier.

"Morning Stevie," he spoke tiredly.

"Morning Buck, where were you yesterday, I was worried."

"I left a note in the kitchen."

"Where? I didn't see it."

"Next to the coffee machine."

"Well where did you go?"

"I needed some time alone. I remembered some things that didn't sit right, I needed to process it."

Steve pulled Bucky in closer.

"I thought I'd lost you again. Your phone was still in here and no one had seen you."

"It's ok Stevie, I'm not leaving anytime soon."

"You better not," Steve smiled, "I'm going to go hangout with Sam and Nat today, you wanna come?"

"Sure why not, but there's something I need to tell you first."

"What-"

"Coffee first, then I'll tell you."

—

The two super soldiers sat at the table eating breakfast.

"So, we've had coffee, what do you wanna tell me?"

Bucky's whole emotion changed. He looked down at his food and his long hair fell into his face.

"It's about what I remembered."

"Oh Buck, it's ok, you don't have to say anything."

"No, I have to."

Steve reaches across and grabbed the soldiers hand. Bucky smiled softly before he spoke again.

"I remembered that I...I when I failed to assassinate Fury in y-your apartment. You three the shield at me. I caught it," his eyes moved to his metal arm before he hid it under the table, "I looked you dead in the eye as if I had never met you."

"None of that's your fault babe."

"I should've stayed. We could of been together sooner."

"Is there anything else you remembered?"

"Yeah, I remember when you called my name on that highway. Made me remember how I ended up working for Hydra. Pierce, h-he tried to tell me to forget. I wouldn't stop until he told me who you were. Next thing I know he was zapping me with that damn machine again. They were going to put me in cryo again, but they said I had been out too long."

The blonde stood up and walked over to where Bucky was sitting, he pulled him up from his seat. Steve pulled him into a soft embrace.

"It's ok. I love you no matter what. I'm with you until the end of the line."

"I love you so much Stevie, thank you."

—

**Hey guys! Trust me, no one is gonna be dying in this fic :')**


	11. The Ceremony

It was the day of the wedding. Steve was nervous. He had waited for this since he was 18. Nat and Tony were with Bucky helping him get ready. Steve was with Sam and Bruce (Thor was too excited. He had to be left outside). Quite a few people were excited for the wedding. Shuri had taken over the planning along with Peter and Tony. Bucky and Shuri had become quite close. They were like two peas in a pod. They got along like Steve and Tony. Like siblings.

Sam walked into the floor they had been assigned at the HQ. Why did Tony have to be so extra?

"You nervous?" Sam asked.

"What does it look like Sam?"

"It looks like you're about to piss yourself."

"Do I really look that bad?"

"One thing you've never been good at is hiding your emotions. I wonder how you hid your love from Bucky for so damn long."

"Shut up," Steve laughed at Sam.

—

Bucky was hysterical. Nat had been calming him down all day. He was overwhelmed. He couldn't believe he was really going to be spending the rest of his life with Steve. Tony picked out what Bucky was wearing (of course) and Nat was like emotional support. She really understood Bucky. She had been in his position (minus the brainwashing), she cared for him like a brother.

Bucky put on the tux Tony had picked. He probably made it to be honest. It fit perfectly. It was black and sleek. He wore a blue tie. Tony had told him 'it brings out your eyes.'

"Not ready yet," Tony exclaimed as Bucky looked at himself in the mirror. He looked just how he did back in the 40s when they went dancing with dames.

Tony laughed as he handed Bucky a box. He opened it. They were cuff links, but not normal ones. They were mini silver versions of Steve's shield. Bucky laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Thanks Tony, for forgiving me and everything."

"It's fine, it wasn't your fault."

They exchanged smiles. Nat came over and hugged Bucky.

"You ready?" She asked pulling away.

"Yeah, it's kinda weird, neither of our parents are here."

"If science was that advanced we would make sure they would be," Tony winked.

The couple had decided that Bucky would be the one to walk down the aisle. Like coming into a new life. Bucky thought it was dumb, but he didn't want to argue. 'You look like a girl with your hair anyway' Tony had joked.

Steve stood up near the priest. He was probably shaking. Sam was his best man, Tony was Bucky's. Sam had told the captain to chill and that it's ok multiple times. Bucky appeared at the end of the aisle. He saw the captain wearing a black suit, but with a pale green tie. They smiled at each other. Shuri insisted to walk him down the aisle. He made it to the end and joined Steve. They held hands while looking into each others eyes. Peter sat next to Shuri in the front row. He started tearing up.

"Really Peter, why are you crying?"

"It's taking everything in my will power to-"

"To start quoting asdfmovie.?"

"Yeah."

"I'll do it for you."

"Shuri no-"

"You know who's gay?" Shuri said loudly

Bucky smiled and replied, "us."

Peter almost fainted.

"Mr Rogers. Do you take James to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Mr Barnes. Do you take Steve to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"You may kiss the groom."

Laughter broke out between Shuri and Peter.

"Who's supposed to kiss who?" They had whispered to each other.

Steve pulled Bucky into a soft kiss. Lasted almost an eternity.

"Alright break it up," Tony said, "let's go get some food."


	12. The Night After

"Jesus, Tony. Calm down before you eat yourself into a food coma!" Pepper said with a tone. Tony was stuffing his face with all the food at the reception.

Everyone laughed as Tony started eating in slow motion.

Bucky and Steve couldn't be happier. All their friends where together. They had married each other, finally.

"I can't believe I get t spend the rest of my life with you Stevie," Bucky spoke.

Nat looked in awe as Shuri and Peter fangirled from the next table over. Steve smiled at the soldier and held his hand.

"I love you," he said softly.

More screaming and arm flapping from Peter happened on cue.

"I love you too."

—

When the reception was over everyone left after congratulating the newly weds. They returned to their house.

Bucky and Steve sat on the couch.

"We're really married hey," Steve said smiling at his husband.

"Yeah, we are," Bucky said before leaning in and kissing the blonde.

"What movie do you wanna watch tonight, maybe a tv show?"

"First let's change out of these tux's."

"Good call."

As they walked to the bedroom, Steve's eyes moved to Bucky's cuff links. He smiled at the ground.

"What you smiling at punk?"

"Your cuff links, Tony's doing?"

"Yeah, they're kinda cute."

Steve rolled his eyes jokingly, "of course it was Tony."

Bucky changed into some grey sweats (what a thot, what am I doing lol) and a white tank top. Steve changed into some football shorts and a baggy shirt. The two sat on the couch. Steve was curled up under Bucky's arm. Hells Kitchen was on the tv. Bucky liked watching the blonde get offended by Gordon Ramsey.

"Hey Buck," Steve hesitated.

"What's on your mind Stevie?"

"You know, you're really cold."

Bucky's stomach knotted itself. Steve felt the difference too? Great.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"No, I mean you're skin is always cold."

"Well you're a damn heater."

Steve laughed at his comment. "It's still good to cuddle up to you, ya know? It's kinda refreshing."

When they cuddled up together, Bucky almost made sure Steve's was on his right. He didn't want him to have to feel the cold metal.

He reached the metal arm across and used a finger to lift up Steve's face to meet his eyes. The brunette smiled before leaning his head down and kissing the blonde. It got heated pretty quick. Soft kisses turned to strong passionate ones. Steve's shirt was on the floor almost instantly. The blonde clambered onto Bucky's lap. I think you know what happened after that. ;)

—

**Still more chapters to go. Not sure how many, but it doesn't end here :)**


	13. Bucky's First Mission Back

It was a few months after the wedding. Bucky had been training with the avengers and had been drafted for his first mission.

"Stevie!" Bucky called as he came home. A soft 'in here' came from the living room.

"I need to tell you something," Bucky said as he saw the captain laying on the couch.

"Hmm?"

"I got drafted for my first mission today."

"That's great Buck," Steve said as he stood up. He walked over to the soldier and kissed him, "you excited?"

"Not really. I leave tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?!"

"Yeah."

Steve pulled the smaller man into a hug. He rested his face down on Buckys shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss you," Steve spoke.

They pulled away from each other. A tear fell down Bucky's cheek.

"I don't know if I'm ready Stevie. I don't know if I can do all this again."

"It's ok. Who are you going with?"

"Rhodey, Nat, Wanda and Peter."

"You'll be fine. Nat will help you through it babe."

Bucky smiled, "I love you."

—

The next morning Steve awoke to an empty bed. He thought Bucky had already left, but it was way too early. He walked out of the bedroom to hear the shower running. Steve being the kinky little shit he is walked into the bathroom.

"Buck, you in here?"

"Yeah," he groaned from the shower, "I'm so tired."

Steve pulled back the shower curtain. Bucky looked beautiful. His wet hair hung loosely down by his shoulders, his chest beaded with water. His metal arm glistened in the heat light.

Bucky pulled Steve into the shower.

—

"Heyo," Rhodey spoke as they made it to the HQ.

"How are you Rhodes?" Steve asked.

"I'm good, you guys take forever to arrive, we're leaving. Don't make a habit of being late."

Bucky kissed Steve goodbye and he walked onto the aircraft.

—

Bucky sat in the sleeping quarters. He felt empty. The same type of empty he felt when he left for England all those years ago. All he could think about was the horrors he had endured. Flashes of Zola's faces attacked him. He held his head. Tears started falling onto his lap. He could almost feel the pain, the torture.

"You alright?" Wanda asked as she walked in.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"You don't look good. Missing Steve?"

Bucky looked down, "yeah."

"Call him."

"I thought we weren't allowed?"

"We're not going after a big criminal so it's fine if we use our phones."

"Thanks Wanda."

Wanda left. Bucky looked at his phone. His hands were shaking. He couldn't burden Steve with this when there's no way he could do anything to help. He curled up on his temporary bed and silently cried himself to sleep. He wasn't ready for this.


	14. Homesick

Steve looked at his phone. The temptation to call Bucky was tugging at his heart. He wanted to hear his voice. Was Bucky allowed to call? Could they text? He wasn't sure, but he didn't want to risk anything.

Meanwhile, Bucky was talking to Nat. She had been through similar things to him. She was easy to talk to.

"I can feel the pain just by thinking about it," Bucky confessed, "last time I left Steve I was taken by Zola, what if it happens again?"

"James," Nat sighed, "we'll make sure you dint get captured, plus the man we're going after isn't that dangerous. Call Steve. Talk to him"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to tell him all this. He can't do anything while I'm in the air."

"Then don't. Just talk to him like you never left. Pretend everything's fine and then let it all out when you get home."

Bucky smiled. Nat always knew what to say.

"Thanks."

"Now I'll leave you to it."

Nat got up and left the sleeping quarters. Bucky picked up his phone. He was about to press onto Steve's contact, but alarms on the ship started beeping.

Bucky threw his phone onto his bed and sprinted to see what was happening. They had been shot.

—

Steve brought his knees up to his chest. He thought about the possibility of Bucky being hurt. A tear seeped its way through his eyelids

"Just call him!" He spoke to himself, "but what if I can't?"

Steve stared at his phone for a bit.

"Fuck it."

He pressed onto Bucky's contact. It started ringing. No answer.

Suddenly, all these thoughts flooded his mind. What if he's injured? What if he's been captured? Worse. What if he's dead?

—

"Pete, pass the parachutes!"

The small teenager threw parachutes to each member. They strapped them on.

"I'll go first," Bucky volunteers.

"James, did you call Steve?" Nat asked.

"There's no time," Bucky choked as a lump formed in his throat. He took a deep breathe and jumped. This was it.


	15. Memories

_Aircraft spotted being shot out of the sky. When the giant ship fell to the floor, the people onboard haven't been found. If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of Spider-Man, Natasha Romanoff, James Buchanan Barnes and Wanda Maximoff, please report to your local police station._

Steve was glued to the tv. Bucky was gone again, but this time Nat, Wanda and Peter where gone too. He sat with his knee souled right up to his chest. His hair was a mess. He hadn't washed it since his husband had left. Clear tears streamed down his face silently.

As the news stories moved on he sat in silence. What else could he do? Bucky wasn't answering his phone, none of them were.

The front door slammed open. In the doorway stood Bucky. He smiled.

"Hey Stevie."

"Buck!" Steve exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. He ran over and squeezed the soldier, "god I missed you."

"Were you crying?"

"I thought you were dead!"

The two super soldiers held eachother close without speaking another word. Steve didn't even noticed Nat, Wanda and Peter slither in. Nat smirked at the pair while Wanda and Peter fangirled silently.

The two lovers pulled away. Steve brought his hand up to Bucky's face and looked into his eyes. The shorter man looked up into the blondes eyes. Bucky flinched and brought his hand up to his temple for only a split second.

"Mister Bucky are you ok?" Peter asked in his high pitched voice.

"Yeah yeah," Bucky answered, "just flashbacks."

"I think we're gonna head off," Wanda started, "just wanted to see if you were doing ok Steve."

The three walked out leaving Bucky and Steve by themselves. When Nat closed the door, the soldier burst into tears. Steve looked at him confused.

"I was terrified," he cried out, "last time I w-was on a mission without you, b-bef-fore hydra, I was captured and t-taken. I was scared I w-would never see y-you again."

Steve pulled him close again, "it's ok babe, I'm here now."

—

"_Bucky?" Steve asked, staring at him as if he had seen a ghost._

"_Who the hell is Bucky?"_

_He raised his gun. Sam came flying in kicking him over from behind. He stood up. _

_What the fuck? He had thought to himself. Who was this? Why was he so familiar? He raised his gun again as Nat shot at him. He ran. Didn't look back._

Bucky sat up sweating. Steve sat awoke with worry behind his eyes.

"Babe, what was that dream about?"

"I'm so sorry Stevie," he blurted out, "I think I need to go see Shuri."

"Wait!" Steve pleaded as he grabbed Bucky's hand, "stay for tonight. I love you."

"It was you."

"What?"

"It was you I dreamed about. The h-highway. I remember it so vividly. You l-looked at me...as if you were about to break. Y-you looked l-"

"Buck stop. Come lay back down."

After some hesitation, the broken soldier curled himself into Steve's arms.

"Steve. How do you feel about my metal arm?"

"I don't mind."

"Would you rather I not touch you with it?"

"I love you. I don't care about your metal arm. It's just the same as a prosthetic."

"But the horrible things it's done, I-"

"Shh, just enjoy the silence babe. Calm down."

The two held eachother in silence. Bucky's heart rate slowed down. Steve smiled as the brunette slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Holding him seemed to make the memories nightmares go away.

—

**Hey guys. Still not sure how I'm going to end this, kinda just winging it. Sorry if I'm dragging out the story. Love you guys :)**


	16. I will wait

"Is there anything guy can do?" Bucky pleaded.

"I'm not sure, does Steve know you're here?" Shuri asked.

"No, I didn't want him to worry. All this hydra stuff, it's been keeping him up at night. He thinks I haven't noticed."

"The only thing I can think of is you going back under, but we don't want that."

"I'll do whatever it takes Shuri. I just want everything to be normal again."

Shuri sighed, "it's never going to be normal. If you're going back under, Steve needs to know."

—

"Hey Buck, where have ya been?" Steve asked.

"I went to see Shuri."

"Buck-"

"No Steve don't. I know it's been keeping you up. The fact that I'm not normal. Hydra is always going to be a part of me and there's nothing either of us can do. Shuri is our best bet!"

Steve didn't answer. He turned away. Steve sniffed and wiped some tears off his cheeks.

"I'm sorry Steve. I have to."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do, I keep hurting you. What if I snap one day? What if one day I don't remember and I hurt you. What then?"

"Buc-"

"Don't try to stop me."

"Bucky w-"

"I need to do th-"

"JAMES, listen to me," Steve said. He turned to face Bucky. His eyes were bloodshot, "you don't have to do this. There has to be another way. I don't care about Hydra. I don't care! I just want you with me."

"What if I hurt you?"

"You won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

Steve turned again.

"Please Buck."

"Steve. I'm sorry."

"I need you. You're the only reason I still get up in the mornings. I love you. Nothing will change that."

"I'm never going to be the man you want me to be."

"I don't want you to be anyone. I don't care as long as it's you."

Steve slowly walked towards the soldier. He held him close.

"I don't want you to do this, but if you really want to. It's ok. I'll be out here waiting for you. Everyday."

—

"_There was a man on the bridge, who was he?"_

"_You net him earlier this week on another assignment."_

_There was a long pause._

"_I knew him," Bucky spoke._

_Pierce sat down._

_Your work has been a gift to mankind, you shaped the century," Piece spoke, "and I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow morning we're gonna give it a push, but if you don't do your part, I can't do mine and Hydra can't give the world the freedom it deserves."_

"_But I knew him."_

_God he wished he hadn't said those words the second Pierces expression changed._

"_Prep him."_

"_He's been out of cryo freeze for too long."_

"_The wipe him and start over."_

_They pushed him down and put a plastic brick in his mouth. The machine closed over his face and-_

He awoke to an empty bed. He sat up panicking.

"Steve? Steve?" He called running out of the bedroom.

"I'm in the kitchen!"

Bucky ran in and threw his arms around Steve.

"Hey hey hey, easy, what's wrong?"

"Bad dream."

Steve pulled away and kissed him in the forehead, "it's ok, we'll be in Wakanda soon. This will all be over."

"I know you don't want me to go under Stevie."

"It's ok. It's for the best."

—

"Are you sure about this?" Shuri asked.

"Yes."

Bucky walked up to Steve and held him.

"I'm sorry Stevie."

"It's ok. Remember I'll be waiting for you."

They both pulled away. Bucky cupped Steve's face with his hands. He smiled, leant forwards and kissed him. They kissed as if the world was ending. When it ended they smiled at eachother. Tears filled both of their eyes.

"I love you James."

"I love you Steve."

The brunette stepped into the clear capsule. He smiled at Steve as if closed around him. He put his head back and closed his eyes. The tank filled with ice.

Steve looked down.

"He'll be ok," Shuri reassured him.

"I'll text you when he comes out."

"Thanks."

Shuri hugged him, "it'll be alright."

Steve walked up the capsule.

"I love you," he spoke quietly, "I'll be waiting for you."

—

**Hey guys! I think this is it for this fic. Thanks for following along. Special thanks to violetromanoff and . for supporting my fics :)**


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